"I have now received reports and contact from three faculty members regarding
your performance in their courses. I have done repeated outreach and asked you to
come in to see me as i see patterns regarding not turning in assignments and
inconsistent test/quiz performance. Please make an appointment to see me as soon as
possible to discuss these issues."
...
"Well I would need to see you asap and I think you need to fit the time in because
there are SERIOUS issues with your academic performance."
What I WANTED to say to my advisor:
"Well, I think that's a bit of an exaggeration. I recieved my textbooks late, so yes, I am a little behind. However, I have plenty of time to focus and do well on the current assignments (which, I decided, would be better than trying to go backwards and catch up with all the old ones, since that would only make it more difficult to do my current work). And if that wasn't true, you wouldn't be asking to schedule a meeting, would you? Not if I had no hope of suceeding this semester. Therefore, since all you can do is advise me (as the word "advisor" implies), I don't think I really need it. I am a competetant, independent person, and I have my own way of doing things, which has worked for me long before we met."
Asshole.